Here is what I learned from the Olympics that just finished, in no particular order:
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If you think you can “smash” another team, keep that fact quiet until the deed is done.
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Field hockey is a sport designed to train young girls in skirts to bend over, work sticks, and take occasional balls to the face.
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Eight really is a lucky number.
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You don’t need media furor and praise to be a champion.
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If you are loathed by your competitors, teammates and the audience, winning the gold medal doesn’t make you a champion. It just makes you someone loathed by your competitors, teammates and the audience, who won a gold medal.
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NBA players become slightly more tolerable when they shut the hell up.
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By the time you read this, those responsible for maintaining the soccer field have probably been liquidated.
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Election advertisements are exponentially more irritating when they interrupt the Olympics.
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You don’t need to be an athlete to be an Olympic hero.
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40 is not old.
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You learn to hold things when you are six months old. For some people, it doesn’t take.
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China knows an awful lot about fireworks.
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In 2012, even if there is a 5k race where perfectly healthy people have to limp in a specified way or be disqualified, it still wouldn’t be the most ridiculous “sport” in the events.
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Events that award medals entirely based on judging are fun to watch, but aren’t sports and shouldn’t be treated as such.
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Photos from NBC, who gathered them from various sources (mostly Getty, AP and Reuters).