An idea whose time has come

Being in Las Vegas recently got me thinking about theme hotels. It may be time for a Viking themed resort. Call it Valhalla. You could advertise almost exclusively in the north-central US to get your initial client base (and perhaps New England and St. Petersberg). The hotel could be a mix of modern Scandinavian influence and Viking history. It should feature at least the following:

  • Main tower of hotel built around Yggdrasil, the world tree. Lobby would represent Midgard, with standard rooms (Vanaheim), lesser suites (Ljossalfheim) and master suites (Asgard) above.
  • In-between the lobby and Vanaheim would be the Muspelheim spa, the largest collection of sauna, steam rooms, hot tubs, mud baths all lit by flows of “lava”.
  • Beneath the lobby would be Nifelheim, any icy playground, with ice rinks (including the world’s first x-treme ice rink), pools with slides that look like ice, frozen gateways to restaurants, a passage to Jötunheim mall, more hot tubs, etc.
  • Casino space, with Svartalfheim as the main casino and Hel as the high rollers section. Hel might also hold the nightclub.
  • Naturally, guys with horned helmets at the door and fur bikini wearing cocktail waitress.
  • Shopping mall with animitronic display in central courtyard featuring Erik the Red kicking Columbus’ ass every fifteen minutes.
  • All you can eat lutfisk bar.
  • Something to do with Nokia and/or Ericsson.
  • On the Migard level, a $5 entry buffet held in a large stone room with a central fire, common tables and huge hunks of meat.
  • A networked VR room, where you can take place in daily reenactments of Hoskuld and Tyri’s attempt to sack Constantinople in 860. While this force was turned back (by either a big storm, the Virgin Mary or a massive bribe), had it succeeded, it easily could have catapulted Scandinavia to be the dominant civilization of the world for centuries.
  • Guests can participate in occasional, late night raids in longboats across the dancing waters of the Bellagio to sack the Picasso Restaurant.
  • Ragnarok enacted every hour, on the hour.

Yet another damn blog

There are a lot of ’blogs out there. Most of them suck. This one probably will, too. I intend, however, to run this one a bit differently than I’ve seen others do.

Firstly, a great many blogs seem to go on at length about what the problem is, either in the writer’s personal life, politics, sports, whatever. That’s great. More power to them. I, however, am more interested in what the solution is. I’d rather hear a horrible, unworkable “solution” than more empty whining about the problem. And I’m just the guy to come up with these unworkable solutions. So:

Asteroid Rule One: If you can’t suggest a solution, even a bad one, shut the hell up.

Numerous blogs also tend to post filler and links to other stories, rather than create content themselves. Some of this comes from a desire to keep the blog “fresh” and active. I understand the desire, but I see no need for it in this blog. I’d rather have only original work, even if it means long delays between posts. It is likely this blog will only see a couple posts a month. So:

Asteroid Rule Two: Only post when you have something to say that no one else is saying.

Many blogs have a theme. Some are about sports or knitting. Some are political. Some are regional. Some are more like personal diaries. This blog is themeless, dealing with whatever stray thoughts float through my head. So:

Asteroid Rule Three: I’ll write about whatever I like.

In spite of this, this blog is not a diary. My personal life is not really your business. Even less so is my work, which will not be discussed, or even hinted at, in this blog at any time. So:

Asteroid Rule Four: I will censor myself at will and have no obligation to share anything at all.

Though I have some training in journalism, I am not a journalist and this blog is not a news site. Additionally, the opinions expressed in this blog may not be opinions I believe in at all. So:

Asteroid Rule Five: I may intentionally mislead the reader. Read at your own risk.

The name of this blog comes from the result of my taking the What Video Game Character Are You? quiz, revealing this:

What Video Game Character Are You? I am an Asteroid.
  I am an Asteroid.

I am a drifter. I go where life leads, which makes me usually a very calm and content sort of person. That or thoroughly apathetic. Usually I keep on doing whatever I’m doing, and it takes something special to make me change my mind.

I’ll not be blogging more personality test results, but some of my results are available elsewhere.

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