I had a dream the other day that seems like exactly the right concept for an SNL sketch. (Meaning, it’s initially funny, but would go on too long.) The dream goes like this: my wife and sit down to eat in a fancy restaurant called L ’Idiot (my subconscious pulling a reference from L.A. Story). We’re dressed well (yes, this is a dream) and it’s all very proper. Then our waiter comes, and it is this guy:

Billy Mays

In his typical loud voice, he says “Hi! Billy Mays here for L ’Idiot, the last word in restaurant pretension!” The dream is a bit cloudy in my memory, but he goes on to tell us about the specials. I remember lines like “You get it all! The linguine! The clam sauce! All for just two easy payments of $14.95!” and “But wait! If you order now, you’ll also get L ’Idiot’s world famous chocolate mousse, absolutely free!”.

It was weird, man.